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3 Things I Learned in Year 26

3/22/2016

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I celebrated my birthday over the weekend. For whatever reason, this year I find myself reflecting on the past 365 days and thinking about life lived and lessons learned more than normal. Usually, my focus would be on what’s to come… But as I plan ahead with hopes and dreams for my newest chapter, I’ve decided to, first, write down and share my top three things learned from my 26th year. They overlap and intertwine and act like little building blocks I want to bring forward in life with me… so why not document them?
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Click image for link via Joelle Lydon Blog
First up: Ask Questions.

Vague, I know. So I’ll give you one of my favourite examples of this lesson from the past year. It’s when we bought our new truck back in June. Trucks, something I know little about. Buying vehicles, also something I know little about, on account of never owning one and having missed out on Matthew purchasing his first one. But, a little nugget I learned from a friend was heckling down the dealer price. I should also explain that we had not set out to buy a new truck on this day and Matthew likes to refer to it as his “most expensive oil change ever.”

He shows up in the driveway test driving a brand new, tricked out, bigger, blacker Dodge Ram. Car seats already in the back, ready for the family to make a trip back to the dealership. So, we do. My heart is racing a little, I like the truck, but mostly I know getting top dollar for our trade in is a must, and we don’t want to pay the crazy expensive price their asking for this ride. But what the heck do I know about negotiating vehicles? Could I pull this off? I had the black book pricing for our old truck. I knew there was room to knock down the price from what Matthew was saying… Was I confident enough to, shall we say, fake it til I make it ;)?

Yes!

*Drumroll please* Ask questions!

In short, I got full value for our trade in, thousands knocked off the asking price, and additional add ons thrown in for free to make this Matthew’s dream truck. (Which, by the way, is now covered in husky hair & goldfish crumbs...) But boy, did it feel damn good! All because I asked for it. And I asked and asked for more until they gave me a flat out NO.

No shame.

The moral of my ask questions story is that you will never get a ‘yes’ until you ask the question. And if you get a ‘no’ at least you tried, and you simply move on, and with less regret than not having asked…

Ask questions, people. Go after what you want. Take a chance. Big or small.
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Click image for link via Old English Company on Pinterest
Lesson numero deux: It’s okay to be ‘new’, you have to start somewhere.

I have always hated being new. I love trying new things! But dislike being a beginner at sports and activities, being the new person in a workplace, being any sort of “newb”, etc.

Then all of a sudden, this year, I gave myself a little grace when trying new things.

It’s okay to be new. You have to start somewhere.

Once upon a time every expert was new at their thing. Some people are talented, some things come easier for some, but most things in life take work, practice and determination.

I accepted that this year.

Joining Hot Mama Fitness classes was probably my best example of this. Chances are if you have been around me in the past year, you’ve heard me talk about it or have seen me share posts on social media. It’s what sparked my fitness journey at this stage in my life. Being active was always part of my life but this style of workout was new to me. And, honestly, so was intense exercise after having two children in 17 months. But with Hot Mama, I was excited to be new! I felt welcomed and inspired.

Aside from the awesome community of mamas, the change in my mindset was all me. I had always daydreamed of being this fit athlete, but didn’t really do anything to make it happen, shoving it off to be “not for me.” Then somewhere in the beginning of my new interest in fitness, I decided being fit was a lifestyle. Being a ‘fit person’ was an attitude.

I could do this. I just had to start. It was okay to be new.
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Click image for link via Pixel Paper Hearts Shop
I guess all those happy endorphins made their way in to other areas of my life helping me with my third lesson from the year: Your vibe attracts your tribe.

2016 was one of my best years for friendship (in my adult life.)

Let’s backtrack to when I moved away from home, a fresh 20 year old, to Alberta, to live with Matthew. A few of his buddies were all I knew. And while friends were made in those first years, things were different…

Don’t get me wrong. There were a lot of fun times. Fort McMurray introduced me to some awesome people and I did make a few quality friends. Looking back now, I have accepted many of my pals were the temporary friend type. After all, it comes with a town where people come and go. But it was most certainly not all one sided.

Your 20’s are a time to find yourself. And in those years, I was lost. Unsure of who I was and who I wanted to be.

While I think of myself as a confident young woman, I was so unsure back then. The people I was meeting were different from me. They came from different places, different backgrounds and for different reasons. We had fun, but sometimes, things were "off"...

Since becoming a mom, and more so over the past year, I have found myself. I have found my role and accepted who I am. I feel more comfortable in my own skin.

I am soft spoken, naïve and “too nice.” And for whatever reason, it has always been a bad thing… Until this year.

I let go of the judgment associated with that and accepted these traits and embraced them.

That allowed me to be more comfortable and genuine with my “vibe.”

It’s funny to type this. I have had so many people in my life say they often see different sides of me or that I am “too real” and it freaks them out.

And that’s just it, it’s real.

Sometimes I have been held back by my personality but this year, for the most part, I owned it.

I am not a fake person. I am an honest person. Chances are you’ve seen me quiet and withdrawn cause that’s how I was feeling. Other times, I am more chatty and friendly. I act how I feel and aim to live in the moment. And in year 26, I was the most accepting and most comfortable with that, than I have ever been before.

Annnnd let’s wrap up this way-too-much-about-me ramble back to: your vibe attracts your tribe.

Being the most genuine version of me, helped me build and move on from friendships this year. I realized that friends are not all equal and that’s okay. I became closer with some and more distant with others. I ASKED QUESTIONS, for people to hang out, and it was answered with a ‘yes’ and became a regular thing or with a ‘no’ and I simply moved on. Hot Mama also made its way in to this lesson by introducing me to a group of likeminded women. Mama’s in similar situations to me or with goals like mine, and this further illustrated vibin’ & tribin’.
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Click image for link via Coffee + Crumbs Shop
So, with these good vibes, I move forward in to year 27.

Still a “newb” to some ;) Ready to ask more questions. Ready to love my tribe and love myself.

And with a fresh motto for the next 365: Grace over guilt.

A big thank you for reading this lengthy babble. XOXO
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A Sunday Well Spent

3/5/2016

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As a stay at home mom with a shift working partner, weekends are not always weekends.

But this past Sunday was all the goodness you would want in a week end. Or perhaps all the goodness you would want to start your new week off strong. As they say, a Sunday well spent brings a week of content.

My perfect weekend is a mix of on the go and relaxing time. It's spent with family and/or friends. You try something new, big or small, you get outdoors and you eat good food. If all of these little things align, it helps you to stay in the moment and that feeling of content right here & now is the cherry on top of a Sunday well spent!
All that up there ^
That.
That, is the draft post I started before another Sunday (almost two) rolled around again.

And that Sunday did not bring content, it brought a stomach flu! For both girls. With both vomiting and diarrhea. Right at the end of Matthew's days off. So, I was solo with sick kids for an (almost) week, thanks to daddy coming home a few days early. And thus, after a Sunday on the mend, this week is now off to a better start!

The trials from last week had me writing all kinds of parenting struggle stories to share, in my head. And maybe, just maybe, a couple silver lining thoughts, too. But as I fear I'm fighting sickness, now, mixed with lack of sleep catching up, my brain is mushy and I'm not quite sure which direction I want to write. I logged in though, so that I can at least type... something...

Have I lost you yet?

Sooo there's a Sunday coming up.

And these are my tips to a Sunday well spent. (Plus a recap of our fun from a couple weeks back.)

5 Tips for a Sunday Well Spent

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1. Try Something New
I love living in Calgary because there is so much to see and do! On our Sunday well spent we went to Rosso Coffee Roasters to try their YYC Hot Chocolate Fest drink. This checked all kinds of boxes in the try something new category. New place, new drink, new festival participants ;) It was my first time at the Ramsay location, which is the original shop of the local coffee company. And it filled my curiosity cup (pun so intended) for trying something new. Not to mention I totally made the right choice to try their s'more hot chocolate creation, which was a dream caffeinated mix of cinnamon and marshmallow. So good.

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2. Get Outdoors
Next we headed to Saint Patrick's Island Park. I had only been once, with the girls, since it re-opened in late Summer and it was Matthew's first time. This park could easily be my happy place. I love the contrast of nature in an urban setting. Sometimes the suburbs get to me. I want so bad to be right in the thick of the character of the city centre and this place just does it for me. It's still an escape of the big city but it's oh so close to the action. The pathways are beautiful and well planned. The playground is perfect for the little adventurer and encourages play in a natural setting. The girls had a blast climbing and going down the slides built in to the hillside. If it wasn't naptime, we could have stayed all day!

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3. Unplug
When you're busy trying new things and out in the great outdoors it's easy to unplug. As much as I love sharing what we're up to via social media, I equally love being too busy for it. The only reason I'll have my phone out is because it's my camera. And on this particular Sunday, my phone died while I was taking pictures in the park. Then, you're really unplugged. But when you're truly enjoying the moment, you should truly enjoy the moment. Social media will be right there where you left it when you decide to log in again.

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4. Enjoy Quality Time with Family and Friends
Nothing makes the last three things even better than having my people right alongside me. As cheesy as it seems to type, that Sunday, I caught myself smiling as I looked around soaking up the moments in the sun having fun with my family. This was real quality time. This was us making memories. It's times like this that I want my children to look back on and equally enjoy and appreciate the little things that made days like this one special.
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 5. Eat Good Food
Nothing quite tops off a Sunday well spent other than a good ol' Jiggs Dinner. Jiggs is a newfie thing. For my family, cooked Sunday dinner was a special occasion thing. For Matthew's, it was a weekly occasion... and I love it that way! Back in the Fall we started cooking it more often after his parents brought us up a supply a salt meat during their visit in September. We've had one most Sunday's, when he's not working, since. It's a great excuse to invite some friends over, especially Newfoundlanders who truly appreciate a home cooked meal. And there's just the general comfort of home it gives, not to mention how good the house smells! So that was lovely ending to our Sunday.
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Image via Lavender and Lovage Blog, because let's face it, we were too hungry to take a picture of our own ;)

As always, thanks for reading folks! I hope you enjoyed this recap + tips for a weekend well spent. Feel free to share your thoughts below :)
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