Vague, I know. So I’ll give you one of my favourite examples of this lesson from the past year. It’s when we bought our new truck back in June. Trucks, something I know little about. Buying vehicles, also something I know little about, on account of never owning one and having missed out on Matthew purchasing his first one. But, a little nugget I learned from a friend was heckling down the dealer price. I should also explain that we had not set out to buy a new truck on this day and Matthew likes to refer to it as his “most expensive oil change ever.”
He shows up in the driveway test driving a brand new, tricked out, bigger, blacker Dodge Ram. Car seats already in the back, ready for the family to make a trip back to the dealership. So, we do. My heart is racing a little, I like the truck, but mostly I know getting top dollar for our trade in is a must, and we don’t want to pay the crazy expensive price their asking for this ride. But what the heck do I know about negotiating vehicles? Could I pull this off? I had the black book pricing for our old truck. I knew there was room to knock down the price from what Matthew was saying… Was I confident enough to, shall we say, fake it til I make it ;)?
*Drumroll please* Ask questions!
In short, I got full value for our trade in, thousands knocked off the asking price, and additional add ons thrown in for free to make this Matthew’s dream truck. (Which, by the way, is now covered in husky hair & goldfish crumbs...) But boy, did it feel damn good! All because I asked for it. And I asked and asked for more until they gave me a flat out NO.
The moral of my ask questions story is that you will never get a ‘yes’ until you ask the question. And if you get a ‘no’ at least you tried, and you simply move on, and with less regret than not having asked…
Ask questions, people. Go after what you want. Take a chance. Big or small.
I have always hated being new. I love trying new things! But dislike being a beginner at sports and activities, being the new person in a workplace, being any sort of “newb”, etc.
Then all of a sudden, this year, I gave myself a little grace when trying new things.
It’s okay to be new. You have to start somewhere.
Once upon a time every expert was new at their thing. Some people are talented, some things come easier for some, but most things in life take work, practice and determination.
I accepted that this year.
Joining Hot Mama Fitness classes was probably my best example of this. Chances are if you have been around me in the past year, you’ve heard me talk about it or have seen me share posts on social media. It’s what sparked my fitness journey at this stage in my life. Being active was always part of my life but this style of workout was new to me. And, honestly, so was intense exercise after having two children in 17 months. But with Hot Mama, I was excited to be new! I felt welcomed and inspired.
Aside from the awesome community of mamas, the change in my mindset was all me. I had always daydreamed of being this fit athlete, but didn’t really do anything to make it happen, shoving it off to be “not for me.” Then somewhere in the beginning of my new interest in fitness, I decided being fit was a lifestyle. Being a ‘fit person’ was an attitude.
I could do this. I just had to start. It was okay to be new.
2016 was one of my best years for friendship (in my adult life.)
Let’s backtrack to when I moved away from home, a fresh 20 year old, to Alberta, to live with Matthew. A few of his buddies were all I knew. And while friends were made in those first years, things were different…
Don’t get me wrong. There were a lot of fun times. Fort McMurray introduced me to some awesome people and I did make a few quality friends. Looking back now, I have accepted many of my pals were the temporary friend type. After all, it comes with a town where people come and go. But it was most certainly not all one sided.
Your 20’s are a time to find yourself. And in those years, I was lost. Unsure of who I was and who I wanted to be.
While I think of myself as a confident young woman, I was so unsure back then. The people I was meeting were different from me. They came from different places, different backgrounds and for different reasons. We had fun, but sometimes, things were "off"...
Since becoming a mom, and more so over the past year, I have found myself. I have found my role and accepted who I am. I feel more comfortable in my own skin.
I am soft spoken, naïve and “too nice.” And for whatever reason, it has always been a bad thing… Until this year.
I let go of the judgment associated with that and accepted these traits and embraced them.
That allowed me to be more comfortable and genuine with my “vibe.”
It’s funny to type this. I have had so many people in my life say they often see different sides of me or that I am “too real” and it freaks them out.
And that’s just it, it’s real.
Sometimes I have been held back by my personality but this year, for the most part, I owned it.
I am not a fake person. I am an honest person. Chances are you’ve seen me quiet and withdrawn cause that’s how I was feeling. Other times, I am more chatty and friendly. I act how I feel and aim to live in the moment. And in year 26, I was the most accepting and most comfortable with that, than I have ever been before.
Annnnd let’s wrap up this way-too-much-about-me ramble back to: your vibe attracts your tribe.
Being the most genuine version of me, helped me build and move on from friendships this year. I realized that friends are not all equal and that’s okay. I became closer with some and more distant with others. I ASKED QUESTIONS, for people to hang out, and it was answered with a ‘yes’ and became a regular thing or with a ‘no’ and I simply moved on. Hot Mama also made its way in to this lesson by introducing me to a group of likeminded women. Mama’s in similar situations to me or with goals like mine, and this further illustrated vibin’ & tribin’.
Still a “newb” to some ;) Ready to ask more questions. Ready to love my tribe and love myself.
And with a fresh motto for the next 365: Grace over guilt.
A big thank you for reading this lengthy babble. XOXO