I have been feeling completely uninspired to write this post. In fact I've started to write several times. I even had a decent draft, a week ago now, then deleted it all because it's not what I wanted to say.
Post Reality Rain Cheque was harder than I imagined it would be. I expected things to be different because I was rested, refreshed, recharged.
Instead I found myself in a funk.
I was tired and my patience shrinking. I like to think it's because we were hit with a harsh back to reality of the girls being on a significantly earlier Newfoundland time zone. Add everyone getting sick on different days to make the week while daddy was back to work drag on. Top it off with daylight savings time making wake ups extra early and days feel extra long with added darkness.
We made it through and Matthew made it home. We only saw each other a few days out of the last month between him working and their vacation. That seemed strange.
It's like things were back to normal but not really. Almost a slow normal...
Because honestly Reality Rain Cheque wasn't that different. I didn't do anything extraordinary. The main thing was I could do things on my time and I took advantage of it. I had little responsibilities with no work or family to take care of. Aside from the dogs and dayhome start up, which with everything else off my plate, seemed enjoyable.
Everyone kept commenting it looks like I did so much during my staycation. And I did, but not a whole lot more than usual. I am always out and about exploring and keeping busy when the girls are with me... Just in a different way. My 'me time' simply upped the level because I had the chance to do so. I couldn't waste the time. Like I wrote in the beginning, when am I likely to have two weeks without a family, a career and major responsibilities again, ever?
When they returned my heart was full. Happy for the time I had to myself, which I knew I needed but didn't realize how much. I was happy knowing that they had all had such a wonderful visit with family in Newfoundland. I was hopeful that these experiences would give us a refreshed reuniting... but now it seems like we all needed rest after our "vacations".
As mentioned, the back to 'normal but not normal' is what threw me for a loop. Perhaps I have been stuck in the funk because we have been home more or sick or tired and not our usual selves or routine.
Slowly, nearly three weeks later, I am creeping out. Adjusting to a new norm that comes with changing seasons and shorter days anyway.
It's with time comes perspective and ultimately I am so glad to have had the opportunity to "check my reality."
In a way, we can give ourselves a Reality Rain Check anytime, not just on a vacation. "Checking in" and reflecting on life's highs and lows helps us move through and make choices. It shows us what's important and what we can change.
Loving life or in a funk, I do not believe we need to be or will be "stuck."
Sometimes it can feel like it. Sometimes we want to be and other times it seems like we can get out.
If anything it's these times that teach us the lessons we need to learn and help us to grow and manifest what we really want in life.
Oh snap, things are getting deep.
Honestly though, these words are finally flowing and that's because this is really what I want to share and truly the message I needed to write and work out.
Upwards and onwards! (as my dear friend would say)
As always, thanks for reading xo