It must be the arrival of my birthday month and pisces season that has me in my element lately. I’m finally finding that creativity and flow I’ve been seeking for months! It’s like things just got “easier.”
More sunshine (not to be confused with more warmth in Calgary ha) more exercise, more podcasts may have also contributed to my wellbeing.
Plus getting clear on my why. The heart behind my purpose and what I want to do in life. How I can be better in my relationships and roles.
I like to think I’m not one to follow the ‘shoulds’ of life. In many ways I haven’t followed a typical path of checking the boxes of societies orders of expectations. Sure, I have done things like further my education, buy a home, start a family but I try to be intentional about it. I have always liked things to flow and followed my feelings towards the wrongs and rights for me as opposed to what I ‘should’ do.
Recently, I caught myself in an unexpected bout of ‘shoulds.’ I had set expectations for myself and my goals that began to feel like should-dos instead of want-to-dos.
Do you know what I mean?
Of course there are things we don’t want to do in life that have to get done. Of course we need to work hard at things sometimes. Of course goals can be scary sometimes and hold us back...
But that’s not what I mean.
I had set these expectations of what I should do when it wasn’t aligning. It didn’t flow for me. As if setting up the ‘should’ made me want to do it less...
The thing is, for me, and most certainly not for all personality types, the motivation and action comes from within. I don’t like force. I like an inner drive that comes naturally and with ease. If that’s not happening and I’m telling myself to do something, I want to bail!
If you are a rise and grind, head down and work towards your goals type you might not relate to that mentality.
But I think we can all relate to “shoulding ourselves.” Wether your mom told you, social media told you, or you grew up seeing it on tv. Sometimes we think that’s how things should be instead of tuning in to how we *want* things to be.
So lately I’m getting quiet about my goals and making sure I’m not forcing intentions. I’m finding presence in the day to days so I can feel the joy that comes with that... and let’s be honest, it feels the opposite of joy sometimes. But that’s merely a moment to check in and ask why and how can I make this feel better?
I’ve realized it’s that joy, the feeling of peace and ease, that is my why. That’s what needs to be in place for everything else to flow the way I want it to. It’s the value I can move forward with to make sure what I’m working towards feels right. If I don’t have that joy, peace and ease, or some combination of those things, it throws everything off. Things don’t align. I question my capabilities. I resent my roles. Just a rut.
Our values and alignment will look different. My hope is this post inspires you to check in with yourself and your goals. Or even just your day to day? Is it the way you imagined it to be?
There’s no day like to day to start living the way you want to live.
Stop shoulding yourself! ;)
Typing this has my giddy to share what’s to come! To start sharing more of our story and the little joys in between. I’ve been intrigued with lifestyle design for years and am finally feeling all the pieces come together to find purpose for my little corner of the internet. I can’t wait to bring my experiences in life and personal development to help you design a life you love!