​Jordan turned 18 months in November and this is one of my absolute favourite ages! The sweet spot of sorts in between being a baby and a big boy. Learning new things every day, interactive in new ways and still cute when they get up to no good... most of the time ;)

I find it to be a sweet spot of sorts for me, too. Maybe it's the fun developmental stage, or maybe it's a turning point of independence for baby and mama alike. Looking back, I see this stage being the time when I began feeling more myself. Or better yet - like it was the start of a new version of myself.

When Halle turned 18 months, I was already a mom of two! Just the month before, Autumn was born and Halle became a big sister. It's wild having Jordan be at the age and thinking back to then when I had a lively toddler and a baby in tow. Honestly, I found two babies to be more empowering than challenging. I find myself missing those days lately. Call me crazy, but I think my mindset back then had a lot to do with how I handled being a mom of two under two. (And maybe that's what I miss...) Can I also take a minute to acknowledge the fact that young toddlers can not talk back yet!!! Because this most definitely helped my wellbeing as well ;) hehe

Around the time Autumn turned one and a half, I was still at home with the girls. Being a mama and putting family first was very much my main focus but furthering my career was important to me, too. I was also making more time for personal care and realizing it's importance. I started my side hustle designing Keep, I was consistently exercising and running and was in the beginning stages of planning my dayhome. Life was good as it was and there was also things to look forward to. I remember having the same "sweet spot" feeling that's creeping in now. Happy with how things were while also excited for what's to come!

"Let's be intentional and unapologetic with our lives.”

I first heard Kelly Jensen say that a few years ago and it has stuck with my ever since. I loved the sound of it. The idea of it... but I wasn’t quite ready to own it...

Then, I turned 30.

There was a shift.

The shift had been a long time coming, in the making kinda thing, and it seemed like the ultimate start to embrace life with intention and unapologetic ways.

I kid you not, it’s a constant work in progress, but I find myself proud and amazed at the continuing-to-add-up ways of how I am just doing my thing these past few months.

I am embracing and accepting of my true wants and needs!

I am intentional with my choices!

I am unapologetically ME!

I used to have to explain evvvverything. And maybe this is the most difficult thing to kick... but I really am getting better!

Explaining (my thoughts/actions/choices/etc) looks like justifying, overthinking, people pleasing, safe guarding, attempting to include... the list goes on... do you get the idea? (Do YOU do this, too?)

I always thought explaining “helped” me. Like maybe it helped others understand my way of thinking better... because apparently the way I think/act/make decisions sometimes is “different” than most people...

Um, excuse me? Hold up! “Different?”

YES!

...because we’re all human!

We’re all designed to be different and that's OKAY!

And hello! We aren’t all explainers and we don’t all need explanations... (so is this necessary?)

We really just need to be unapologetically ourselves and be intentional with our lives!!!

When you’re “different” - own it!
When you’re “different” - have empathy!
When you’re “different” - shine your light!

I sort of think the magic happens when we embrace our differences and make space for connections in the ways we are the same!

And that’s exactly what I’ve been striving for lately... I’m finally plugging back in feeling like I want to write more. I’m getting clear on what to share and have been working hard behind the scenes to bring my ideas to life!

Check out the new desktop look and new pages like ‘best of the blog.’

To sum things up here’s a throwback to my insta post the day after my birthday, in March...

Recently, I caught myself in an unexpected bout of ‘shoulds.’ I had set expectations for myself and my goals that began to feel like should-dos instead of want-to-dos.

Do you know what I mean?

Of course there are things we don’t want to do in life that have to get done. Of course we need to work hard at things sometimes. Of course goals can be scary sometimes and hold us back...

But that’s not what I mean.

I had set these expectations of what I should do when it wasn’t aligning. It didn’t flow for me. As if setting up the ‘should’ made me want to do it less...

The thing is, for me, and most certainly not for all personality types, the motivation and action comes from within. I don’t like force. I like an inner drive that comes naturally and with ease. If that’s not happening and I’m telling myself to do something, I want to bail!

If you are a rise and grind, head down and work towards your goals type you might not relate to that mentality.

But I think we can all relate to “shoulding ourselves.” Wether your mom told you, social media told you, or you grew up seeing it on tv. Sometimes we think that’s how things should be instead of tuning in to how we *want* things to be.

So lately I’m getting quiet about my goals and making sure I’m not forcing intentions. I’m finding presence in the day to days so I can feel the joy that comes with that... and let’s be honest, it feels the opposite of joy sometimes. But that’s merely a moment to check in and ask why and how can I make this feel better?

I’ve realized it’s that joy, the feeling of peace and ease, that is my why. That’s what needs to be in place for everything else to flow the way I want it to. It’s the value I can move forward with to make sure what I’m working towards feels right. If I don’t have that joy, peace and ease, or some combination of those things, it throws everything off. Things don’t align. I question my capabilities. I resent my roles. Just a rut.

Our values and alignment will look different. My hope is this post inspires you to check in with yourself and your goals. Or even just your day to day? Is it the way you imagined it to be?

There’s no day like to day to start living the way you want to live.

Stop shoulding yourself! ;)

Typing this has my giddy to share what’s to come! To start sharing more of our story and the little joys in between. I’ve been intrigued with lifestyle design for years and am finally feeling all the pieces come together to find purpose for my little corner of the internet. I can’t wait to bring my experiences in life and personal development to help you design a life you love!

Stay tuned.

XO